Glazer: Marriage Doesn’t Work, the Don’ts Behind I Do

It’s no secret that one and one does not make two forever…

So why doesn’t marriage work? Why do nearly 65 percent of marriages end in divorce?

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27 Responses to Glazer: Marriage Doesn’t Work, the Don’ts Behind I Do

  1. Anonymous says:

    MGarr
    Bitter sweet story Craig, you sound bitter but human. I think I agree with most of this. Sorry about Terri, but sounds like you are both better off.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Kyfan
    Glazer, I spent my life savings on a ‘nice girl’ she married my best friend instead.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Whitney Tucker
    This is the reason I think I never married. It just never works out and I am already 29. Maybe things get better with age.

  4. Anonymous says:

    nunya
    I think it is you and your makeup and not some generalized excuses about both sexes. Interesting post as I am married 16 years today and together with my aging sweetheart for 23 total. I am a product of a divorced family but hold my relationship and marriage in highest regard. I think what works for us, and may not for some, is our decision 17 years ago to not have kids. Maybe that is the biggest problem in a relationship.

    Stay single. Sounds like it works for you.

  5. Anonymous says:

    bschloz
    Huge market for failure..look at the failed businesses,restaurants,banks,relationships,stocks,…We have morphed the Country from Leave it to Beaver to RoseAnn…Modern Family.
    We are prisoners of the double income family…a tough act when your raising kids.

    LA is the biggest toilet known to mankind…what do they produce Mickey Mouse..Fake Tits..Ari Gold..can’t wait to bail those losers out?

    Go Royals!

  6. Anonymous says:

    MandDShagger
    Marriage doesn’t work because most people that get married are weak, undisciplined types with no honor, code or integrity. Sure people change but people can also adapt.

    Anyone thinking about getting married should read The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. He waited later in life to get married because he understood that until someone else’s happiness was more important than his own he would never have a successful marriage.

    That concept more than any other defines what it takes to make a marriage last. When two people are focused and committed to making the other happy that’s pretty powerful stuff.

    And when things don’t work out, before you start plunging your weenie, or wrapping your cooze, into and/or around anything that breathes get a divorce or at least have a mutual understanding that you’re headed that way and your genitals and genitalia are open season.

    CHEATING is the worst thing a person can do to another. You wanna make the world a better place to live, make it a felony, punishable by death, for married people to engage in infidelity. That gets rid of all the weak, arrogant, self centered types none of us really like anyway.

    When you give your WORD to another person in front of God, or whatever diety you believe in, family and friends and you don’t keep it you’re just plain S H I T. If your word is no good, you’re no good.

    And if President Oreo is looking to raise revenue through taxes how about a DIVORCE TAX of $1,000.00 a person. Makes more sense than a 10% vig on us white folks that go to the tanning booth.

  7. Anonymous says:

    d
    Nice litte post Glazer… I’d also add that we live in a society where temptation is everywhere. Technology has made it so easy to meet new people and re-ignite old flames – in man and woman’s quest for instant gratification its a recipe for infidelity. I also find it amazing the chain reaction one bad experience can have. Man or woman, once you’re cheated on you change. You become more cynical, distrustful, and bitter. That often equates into that person becoming the cheater in a future relationship…

  8. Anonymous says:

    if only…
    side bar question:

    When you were a Chippendale/trainee/bartender,
    did your bowtie spin around when a
    hottie ordered a drink?

  9. Anonymous says:

    JimmyD
    Something tells me MandDShagger has been cheated on before. Giving people the death penalty for cheating? Are you for real? Giving your word in front of god? You must be some kind of comedy writer. You don’t really believe in “supreme being”, do you? It’s ok to admit doubt instead of preaching fact. And calling our president an oreo. You have less credibility than Jojo

  10. Anonymous says:

    KCMO staffer
    Craig, I just really enjoy your stories. In this case the terrible truth is you are mostly right. Sometimes I don’t know which to do, laugh or cry with you. Entertaining to say the least.

  11. Anonymous says:

    jweinberg
    I’ve been married with kids for more than twenty five years. I love not only my children, but my wife. She has stood by me through much drama. Craig marriage is very difficult at times, but in the end I think worth the trip. You continue to entertain and teach at the same time, thats a good thing.

  12. Anonymous says:

    Black Barbie
    I thought I was the one. You shoulda married that Terri girl.

  13. Anonymous says:

    DowntownDavy
    GlaZer what happened to your marriage? Its not in here.

  14. Anonymous says:

    question man
    Always been curious Greg, who services Stan’s current bride when his little blue pills run out?
    Have you ever dipped into that?

  15. Anonymous says:

    smartman
    Jimmy, If the Prez can call the Tea Party members “tea baggers” why can’t ManD call him an OREO? ManD’s closer to being right then the Prez.

    I’m sure right after he’s out of office he and Slick Willie will be doing one of those Manning brother’s Oreo licking commercials together.

  16. Anonymous says:

    Duke
    Been married for 35 years to the same women. I frankly don’t know how we made it this far. But I can tell you one thing for damn sure, if it wasn’t for our kids, it would have been over long ago. It’s that much of a factor. I was a dog there for a good many years, so I consider myself lucky going forward.

  17. Anonymous says:

    MandDShagger
    Jimmy: I had three things drilled into me growing up: Always tell the truth. Your word is your bond, If your word is no good you’re no good. Whenever you earn money always save 10% for retirement. They have served me well.

    Never cheated or been cheated on. Have always told girlfriends that if they ain’t happy and wanna move on just let me know. If they or we wanna try and fix it…fine, if not we move on. There is no reason you shouldn’t treat any kind of relationship with dignity.

    This country is fucked up in a bunch of different ways due to a lack of self control and personal responsibility. Everybody has someone to blame or some lame ass excuse when things go bad for them. Fuck that, man up. Life ain’t fair. Deal with it.

    And as for President Oreo, that stupid motherfucker is trying to create more reasons for people not to accept personal responsibility.

    We’re gonna give all these fat unhealthy fucks have health care and we’re still gonna let ’em go into KFC and get a 18 piece bucket. When you give something you gotta get something back. If we’re gonna keep people healthy they have to be part of the solution and not part of the problem.

    I took Pascal’s Wager a long time ago. The odds are better.

  18. Anonymous says:

    KCMO staffer
    Mandyshagger you are a very unhappy person, you need help. The president is doing all he can in a tough situation, I doubt you could do it.

  19. Anonymous says:

    KellysGuy
    Smartman I am with you Glazer is just not a good Christian.
    __________________________________________________

    HC: Such brilliance! Glazer’s Jewish, boyz…

  20. Anonymous says:

    SimonSays
    Hearne love that you have this guy writting for this site. He is a gas, you either love him or hate him, but its a fun time.

  21. Anonymous says:

    Rob Lane
    I gave up on getting married long, long ago. I lived at Georgetown with a young ladey in the 80’s, I was very young. Seemed it was all about taking care of her needs, not her worring much about mine. Part of the American Dream is a wife, children, a home, man is king of his castle. I only wish it were true. Like you I have searched and searched, maybe its me, but never found my ‘soul-mate.’ So I get it.

  22. Anonymous says:

    KATE
    dude!! maybe you’d be more optimistic about marriage if you hadn’t needed to “hunt” another after u had just finished “HUNTING” the love of your life back to LA – and succeeded. marriage sucks for cheaters. i’m sure if you had remained faithful, you could have sustained a relationship with “the love of your life”. problems arise in any relationship – it’s how you handle them. people get bored with everything. you used the new car example: well, if you keep adding new features to the car, add new rims, a nice sound system, etc, things might stay exciting; just like a relationship – u have to continuously work @ it. nothing comes easy. this day in age, we are told that problems can be treated with an easy fix – pop a pill and ur headache is gone. divorce your wife and you’re free to hunt. my theory is: no pain, no gain. my mom wanted the freedom to “hunt” during her midlife crisis and after being a stay at home mom for 20 years. she regrets this decision every day and would kill for her old “boring” married life. perception is reality. don’t give up, glazer! your dream woman awaits…

    -PSYCH MAJOR

  23. Anonymous says:

    jojo
    wow…most of my married friends are basically
    unhappy. Its because we are all about instant
    gratification. We want everything now…and with
    the internet/tv/lack of communication (everyone’s
    texting/emailing…no more face to face
    conversation) we re always thinking the grass
    is greener on the other side of the fence.
    I have a friend…just had a new son at 32…
    hates…i mean despises his wife…he still goes
    to strip clubs/drinks and if not for his
    son woulnd leave her in a moment.
    Everything in our lives tody is temporary.
    If we drop someone we’
    ve been with we can jump on the internet and
    find someone to replace them.
    Everthing changes…and the 24/7 news cycle
    makes its impossible for us to focus on one
    thing for too long.
    When I look at my jewish friends I find out
    that 95% of those marriages last forever.
    It has to do with family and respect.
    The other marriages are falling apart…but
    theres still nothing like waking up and
    seeing someone in the bed with you that you
    love….
    So glazer…you’re right…but at 60 you
    need to slow your game down. Some guys
    get fat/bald/old/tired…not me…i’m fighting
    mother nture…look like i’m in my 30’s….
    so hang in there…where there’s dope..theres hope!

  24. Anonymous says:

    jojo
    now about health care…you’re all right.
    Why should I have to pay for this fat/disgusting/
    obese/unhealthy/slobbish/lazy people who are
    using up all the health care money. If we do
    have a new helth care plan…you must be height
    nd weight proportionl to be included.
    Obesity and its diseses account for bout
    30% of all health care spending (heart/diabetes/
    other illnesses). Tell these fat fuckers tht
    to be included in the program..you lose weight
    nd get in shape so that we as a nation won’t have
    to spend billions paying for your bypass
    surgeries and dialysis.
    Second…examine and reevaluate everyone who
    collects disability. There are millions of able
    bodied people collecting this money. Review them…seeif they are really disable. If they
    are fine…if not…off the public rolls.
    Eliminate tobacco. Tobaacco related diseases
    are kiling us. About 30% of all spending in health care in smoking/tobacco related…they
    kill the economy…eliminate tobacco now…and
    save hundreds of billions of dollars every year
    in health care costs.
    We can afford health care for everyone. Do the
    above actions…stop the wasteful subsidies..
    farmers: 40 billion a year
    oil companies: 45 billion a year
    major corporations: 60 billion a year
    Offshore tax havens which are illegal and
    should be prosecutred: 100 billion a year.
    FOLKS…WE’RE BEING FUCKED. WE HAVE THE MONEY
    TO SOLVE ALL OUR PROBLEMS…JUST WE HAVEN’T
    GOT ANYONE TO CUT THE RICH FUCKERS OFF FROM THE
    GOVERNMENT HANDOUTS…YES I SAID THE RICH
    WHO GET ALL THE TAX BREAKS IN THE WORLD.
    The dems and repubs say we can’t legislate
    behavior…but if i’m paying for your health
    care..i want to tell you what you need to do
    to get my money…if not…go find your own
    health care.
    We’ve been fucked…by the demsand the
    repubs. Once all of us wake up and realize this
    we’ll take back america from the thieves on
    both sides of the aisle and make this nation
    great.

  25. Anonymous says:

    Rob Lane
    Craig you make me want to sing the blues, so do you Jo Jo.

  26. Anonymous says:

    joe
    RE: MandDShagger Says:
    “And as for President Oreo, that stupid motherfucker is trying to create more reasons for people not to accept personal responsibility.

    We

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