Tony: Royals Tix Go On Deep Internet Discount

It’s come to this.

Kansas City’s perennially losing baseball team is going high tech and basically giving away their worthless tickets. As the weather gets hotter there is basically no reason to go to K now that the team is trapped in an infinite loop of meaningless wins followed by extended periods of embarrassing defeats.

Still, it’s important to take note of their online strategy if only because it reveals the team’s desperation.

The Royals are looking to Groupon.com to unload ticket packages.

It might be a great move that capitalizes on an Internet phenomenon OR it could be a sign that new attractions at the K are even less interesting than the foibles of a consistently losing baseball team. Either way, I don’t think it’s a good sign.

But what exactly does the move mean?

First, for the uninitiated, it’s important to explain Groupon.com. The world’s most accurate encyclopedia defines the online service as: “a deal-of-the-day website that is localized to major markets in the United States.” The company offers one “Groupon” per day in each of the markets it serves. The Groupon works as an assurance contract using ThePoint’s platform: if a certain number of people sign up for the offer, then the deal becomes available to all; if the predetermined minimum is not met, no one gets the deal that day. This reduces risk for retailers, who can treat the coupons as quantity discounts as well as sales promotion tools. Groupon makes money by getting a cut of the deal from the retailers.

It’s basically an online coupon fad that may or may not be around in a year.

While some early adopters and Internet geeks may think this is the best thing since sliced bread, for the most part businesses participating with Groupon.com are either chain stores or local places at the end of their wits and in desperate need of a crowd. It’s an online last resort. It’s the last hour liver transplant of local, small biz marketing. And the fact that the Royals are part of the company’s efforts simply proves that the home team isn’t having much luck attracting a crowd.

Without further introduction, take a look at the main part of the offer:

The online discount should destroy any myth about the late season turnaround or the marketing power of the Internets. The deal only exists because of the Royals losing ways and it’s still overpriced given that the team should probably be paying their last remaining fans at this point in yet another losing season.

Tony Botello

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7 Responses to Tony: Royals Tix Go On Deep Internet Discount

  1. Anonymous says:

    jojo
    TONY…as much as yo uwant to tear down the
    royals…they did very well last year with
    1.8 million people attendance.
    This year should be tougher because zacks
    win/loss record will not carry them thru
    the end of the season.
    But…the royals will be profitable..they
    willm kae money and probably lose
    90 plus games.
    But they are our team. For us, they are
    our team and we root for them.
    You root for noone except the worthless
    assholes who cater to your low life
    style.
    Stay at home in your basement reading
    online porn…you are still a piece of
    shit…so go fuck yourself and the
    horrible attitude you write about.
    you are a loser.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Tony
    True that JoJo. Tony is always a fucking downer. That his M-O. That asshole doesn’t like anything. Especially anything involving white people. He’s just a stupid fucking racist troll. I hope he dies in a fire. Fuck you Botello.

  3. Anonymous says:

    MandDShagger
    C’mon jojo, you’re a businessman. Butts in seats is great but not if it means low revenue per customer. 20,000 at $10.00 is the same as 10,000 at $20.00. Once you start discounting and giving shit away all the time it becomes the rule and not the exception.

  4. Anonymous says:

    leighroi
    Yeah, 20 hits at Fenway tonight, won a pitcher’s duel there last night. Greinke tomorrow. So boring….

  5. Anonymous says:

    Dexter Morgan
    More people in the door = more money made at the concession stand and parking

  6. Anonymous says:

    Harry Balczak
    Maybe if they hadn’t overpriced thier tickets to begin with there wouldn’t be a need to discount them.

  7. Anonymous says:

    bschloz
    “now that the team is trapped in an infinite loop of meaningless wins followed by extended periods of embarrassing defeats.
    Great line.

Comments are closed.