Tony: Top 5 Local Hobbies And What They Say About You

Let’s get off the beaten path for a bit.

When people talk about activities, they often refer to state sponsored/taxpayer subsidized drinking and/or eating. Or maybe posing at The Crossroads, for the really adventurous. It’s a vicious circle that probably ends in diabetes and explains why so many people complain that there’s nothing to do here.

Therefore, because I’m all about public service and mocking people. I’ve compiled a quick list of local activities and what they might reveal about participants. Don’t stereotype with this list, it’s simply a cursory glance at some local entertainment options that might be suited to people who are tired of seeing movies every weekend.

1. The Kansas City Roller Warriors – Way, way back in 2006 I was a big fan of this roller skating movement because I knew a couple of the people involved. I backed off but now it seems like there is a resurgence. Avid fans of this sport are probably more intensely interested in lady on lady action and there’s nothing wrong with that — Still, I could never understand if it was an adult sport since they often serve beer and players have tawdry nicknames OR if it was for the family because occasionally a youngster would walk past. I never got an answer, I might have to do more research.

2. Local burlesque – I’ve done my best to investigate this local scene and what I’ve come up with so far is that it’s kinda catty, involves a lot of hard work AND the women consider themselves far more talented and classy than strippers. This is both a blessing and a curse but if locals haven’t caught a performance yet, it might be worth a look for those who aren’t too prejudiced against cellulite. I’ve never been that picky.

3. MMA – I’ve never been a fan of having other people’s blood splattered on me for entertainment value but I would be a fool to ignore the growing, local popularity of this endeavor that is slightly more entertaining than Jean-Claude Van Damme’s 1988 film Bloodsport. Sometimes, I hear, there is free popcorn.

4. Kansas City Improv – These groups come and go and I always thought they were intended for women hoping to break out of their shell after suffering severe burns or a date rape and comprised completely of guys in middle-management who watch way too much SNL. In any event, I always stay away from anything related to the word Improv. BUT, there are people who like watching train wrecks.

5. Alternative Kansas City activities don’t always have to involve a crowd. There are a great many bookstores, comic book shops, used record and CD places where people can be in the company of others but essentially remain by themselves. Chess at the Flea Market even allows folks to compete with one another without exchanging too many pleasantries. This last category of local nerd activities will put participants in the company of a great many smart folks, so there might even be a place for career advancement.

And if none of these activities draw much interest from readers, that’s okay. Internet content providers would much rather local losers stay at home and surf the web like everyone else on the planet.

Tony Botello

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4 Responses to Tony: Top 5 Local Hobbies And What They Say About You

  1. Anonymous says:

    Tracy Thomas
    Aw, Tony–
    you have your cynic’s hat on today!
    Don’t knock the Improv groups until you’ve tried them. These people are on Ritalin–lightning fast reflexes. It’s jazz for the verbal.

  2. Anonymous says:

    I wouldn’t read much into it, Tracy. Tony hasn’t poked the improv bear with a stick lately. Reflexes or not, some improvisers have tissue-paper-thin skin. They will inevitably see this post and say some lame things in their own defense, thereby proving Tony’s point and playing right into his hands.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Ok that list makes me want to vomit. NOW I know I need to move out of this stupid boring nothing happening city!

  4. Anonymous says:

    Jack Attack
    Date Rape! LOL! You tell ’em, Tonester! That’s what they get for having too much cellulite! Natches!

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