Turns out the sold out show and subsequent comedy club dates across the country the Saturday Night Live alum is engaging in is a prequel to a new comedy movie, Schneider is prepping for.
No HBO specials this time around…
“I’m going to do a movie actually because HBO specials are not so special anymore,” Schneider says. “It’s a movie that will have standup (comedy) in it. It’s all standup – like Richard Pryor’s movie.”
A few outtakes from Schneider’s roadshow to hone his comedy club chops”
*** “I know I’m in my 40s because when I jerk off standing up I get winded,” he told the sold out crowd. “
*** On annoying airport security checks, “Keep it simple,” Schneider says. “If your name takes up more than one page on your passport, you’re going to have to spread your cheeks.”
*** On Arabs being conned by zealots into blowing themselves up in return for the promise of 72 virgins in the afterlife, “Somebody has to explain to these fucks the simple truth – virgins don’t know how to fuck. Virgins are virgins for a reason. Sluts are way more fun – that’s why I like the Midwest.”
*** On Tiger Woods recent woes, “Tiger cheated, whatever. His wife hit him, the police asked how many times. And he said, “Well, my wife hit me eight times but put me down for five.”