Orphan of the Road My friend’s dad had a cherry 63 Stingray. It was his pride and joy.
I called him and asked if he owned such a car, asked for the VIN and if he was in possession of the vehicle. He said yes.
I then said I was with the Maryland State Police and the vehicle had been stolen 20-years ago. Then I asked for the address where the car is kept so we could pick it up.
He was flabergasted, asked how much he would receive for this classic he had recently spent a ton of money to purchase.
Oh no sir, I said, the car is stolen and you are in possession of stolen property. There would be no retribution as he bought a stolen car.
Well he pretty much lost it, said he would burn the f’er before he gave it up.
I told him that he would then be an arsonist and this conversation would be his confession to said crime.
We went on for about 20-minutes with him getting angrier with each new detail.
Finally when I thought he was really going to lose it, I asked if he would like to talk to his son Dennis.
APRIL FOOL POPS!!!!!
Silence on the other end of the line. Then in a barely audibile voice I heard, I will track you down and cut you into small pieces and go chumming for sharks. Then a roar of a laugh.
We had about thirty people listening in and it was priceless…
Clint I write software for a living and I use Twitter. Being a person who likes to go to bars, I decided to combine all three: tweet when I’m at a bar working on my laptop, (and other times, too, why not?)
One of the directors at the office (who has waayyy too much time on his hands, apparently) decided to write an algorithm that uses a Twitter account (twitter.com/ClintOMatic) to scan my Twitter feed every 5 minutes or so. If it comes across a post with one of 100 alcohol-related words, it updates a website, didclintdrinktoday.com, with a giant “YES” and the triggering tweet.
It became a bar tradition: could I, when surrounded by friends, tweet that I was drinking WITHOUT triggering the website. I have way too many pictures of people with their cell phones, watching for the update.
I don’t know, to this day, if I should be offended, mortified, or proud this was done. I guess only time will tell. 🙂
tybme My mother in law worked for the department of labor and it was her job to investigate working conditions. I called her up and explained that I worked for a johnny on the job organization and I was concerned with how I was being paid. I went into a long spiel about how I was assigned duties to clean out the toilets and I was paid by he piece. At this revelation she was of course flabbergasted – she asked me several times how I managed that and I expanded on my story explaining that I was required to remove each turd one by one keeping an accurate count. This went on for 20 minute until I could no longer keep from laughing. After a brief cuss out she then began transferring me around her office to fellow workers. I would go through the whole thing again and spent approx. an hour on the phone. All went well until she transferred me to her boss – he didn’t appreciate it at all. Spoil sport.
Damon B. Mine is a 4/1-Birthday combo (today is my birthday–another day and I would have been an April Fool–highly appropriate):
March, 2003. My wife (then girlfriend), knowing how I hate surprises, gets together with my sister and plans a huge surprise birthday party for me. We’re talking family and friends from out of state, co-workers, neighbors, all gathered at my sister’s house and screaming SURPRISE! when I walked in.
After a flurry of photos and much blushing from yours truly, they rush me over to the sofa and make me start opening birthday presents while my wife (then girlfriend) takes a big sigh of relief, feeling smug about pulling off a such a smooth hoodwink.
The last present is a huge box with no “from” tag, which my wife (then girlfriend) thinks is an XBox from my brother-in-law. I open it up and point inside, smiling, and she comes over to look, expecting to see the game system and worrying about the potential time that I’ll waste playing it late every night.
Instead, it’s a jewelry box, with her engagement ring in it.
I had set the whole thing up from square one. It wasn’t just my birthday party, it was also her engagement party.
She says “yes,” (thankfully, damn that would have been embarrassing) and I say to the crowd, “Everyone that knows the real reason why you’re here, please raise your hand,” and every hand goes up.
She was pissed, but forgave me, and we got married in 2004.
Some have questioned my decision to start out a marriage with a complex deception, but it’s worked out okay so far.
Orphan of the Road
My friend’s dad had a cherry 63 Stingray. It was his pride and joy.
I called him and asked if he owned such a car, asked for the VIN and if he was in possession of the vehicle. He said yes.
I then said I was with the Maryland State Police and the vehicle had been stolen 20-years ago. Then I asked for the address where the car is kept so we could pick it up.
He was flabergasted, asked how much he would receive for this classic he had recently spent a ton of money to purchase.
Oh no sir, I said, the car is stolen and you are in possession of stolen property. There would be no retribution as he bought a stolen car.
Well he pretty much lost it, said he would burn the f’er before he gave it up.
I told him that he would then be an arsonist and this conversation would be his confession to said crime.
We went on for about 20-minutes with him getting angrier with each new detail.
Finally when I thought he was really going to lose it, I asked if he would like to talk to his son Dennis.
APRIL FOOL POPS!!!!!
Silence on the other end of the line. Then in a barely audibile voice I heard, I will track you down and cut you into small pieces and go chumming for sharks. Then a roar of a laugh.
We had about thirty people listening in and it was priceless…
Clint
I write software for a living and I use Twitter. Being a person who likes to go to bars, I decided to combine all three: tweet when I’m at a bar working on my laptop, (and other times, too, why not?)
One of the directors at the office (who has waayyy too much time on his hands, apparently) decided to write an algorithm that uses a Twitter account (twitter.com/ClintOMatic) to scan my Twitter feed every 5 minutes or so. If it comes across a post with one of 100 alcohol-related words, it updates a website, didclintdrinktoday.com, with a giant “YES” and the triggering tweet.
It became a bar tradition: could I, when surrounded by friends, tweet that I was drinking WITHOUT triggering the website. I have way too many pictures of people with their cell phones, watching for the update.
I don’t know, to this day, if I should be offended, mortified, or proud this was done. I guess only time will tell. 🙂
tybme
My mother in law worked for the department of labor and it was her job to investigate working conditions. I called her up and explained that I worked for a johnny on the job organization and I was concerned with how I was being paid. I went into a long spiel about how I was assigned duties to clean out the toilets and I was paid by he piece. At this revelation she was of course flabbergasted – she asked me several times how I managed that and I expanded on my story explaining that I was required to remove each turd one by one keeping an accurate count. This went on for 20 minute until I could no longer keep from laughing. After a brief cuss out she then began transferring me around her office to fellow workers. I would go through the whole thing again and spent approx. an hour on the phone. All went well until she transferred me to her boss – he didn’t appreciate it at all. Spoil sport.
Martin
Damon B.
Mine is a 4/1-Birthday combo (today is my birthday–another day and I would have been an April Fool–highly appropriate):
March, 2003. My wife (then girlfriend), knowing how I hate surprises, gets together with my sister and plans a huge surprise birthday party for me. We’re talking family and friends from out of state, co-workers, neighbors, all gathered at my sister’s house and screaming SURPRISE! when I walked in.
After a flurry of photos and much blushing from yours truly, they rush me over to the sofa and make me start opening birthday presents while my wife (then girlfriend) takes a big sigh of relief, feeling smug about pulling off a such a smooth hoodwink.
The last present is a huge box with no “from” tag, which my wife (then girlfriend) thinks is an XBox from my brother-in-law. I open it up and point inside, smiling, and she comes over to look, expecting to see the game system and worrying about the potential time that I’ll waste playing it late every night.
Instead, it’s a jewelry box, with her engagement ring in it.
I had set the whole thing up from square one. It wasn’t just my birthday party, it was also her engagement party.
She says “yes,” (thankfully, damn that would have been embarrassing) and I say to the crowd, “Everyone that knows the real reason why you’re here, please raise your hand,” and every hand goes up.
She was pissed, but forgave me, and we got married in 2004.
Some have questioned my decision to start out a marriage with a complex deception, but it’s worked out okay so far.
tropez online
Generally I do not make comments on blogs, but I would like to say that this post really forced me to do so. Really nice post!