Tony: A Quick Look Back at KC Mag’s Sexy Singles Questionable Kansas City Hookups

Let’s remember that just a few weeks ago I wished a curable STD on Kansas City’s Sexiest Singles.

The post got a good laugh and to try and prove they have a good sense of humor . . . Editors for the site invited me to take a look at a photo gallery of the them on Facebook. In return for this gesture of kindness I’m going to mock them even further despite the fact that the event raised some loose change for Big Brothers Big Sisters.

And yes, I’m aware that there’s a bit of irony involved in a homebody like myself ripping on the likes of Shanna Hilt (and her shiny forehead featured above) However . . . While these ambitious and charitable beautiful people dominate the real world, the Internet is the only place where d-bags like myself can cut them down to size.

Let’s get started.

Heidi Inthavong is pictured pointing to something in the crowd like some kind of jerk at a sports bar. She’s a fitness trainer so I can only assume that she spotted something shiny or she’s mercilessly mocking a fattie.

Again, Kudos to Big Brothers Big Sisters for being a big part of this event. Not only are they helping the children by lending their name to a huge, expensive gala, they also pimped out one of their own workers. I think Tiffany Bruce is kinda hot smiling next to Howdy Doody.

To me, this photo sums up the Kansas City dating scene . . . It features most of the sexy single ladies and a chubby dork hugging them. I call it, “This guy makes more money than you.”

I’m actually not going to joke about this next pic. Kelly Blonde of Lady Luck Hair Parlour is seen here smiling next to her crew. I’ve heard she’s pretty cool, I’m also a bit scared of her tattooed friend and because she works for a living and I think she’s kinda hot for a lady bold enough to wear Mr. Peepers glasses; she gets a pass.

Now this is classy and demonstrates the proper spirit of the event: KC Mag features an upskirt photo of Holly Starr. Remember this is for the charity and it looks like Holly doesn’t know what’s going on . . . Actually, on this I have to give them credit for their restraint. Had I been in this position I would have either had a heart attack or later been arrested for God knows what.

The finale of this photo set includes my favorite photo. I call it “Middle-aged White Woman Fantasy Double Team.

The photo features event dude and local producer Phil Kinen and landscape guy Kristopher Dabner doubling up on KC Mag’s Katie Van Luchene. Obviously, the spirit of charity was in the air on this wonderful night and I’m sure the first and foremost thing on the minds of these people is whatever Kansas City Charity that benefited. Still, it looks like Katie is enjoying herself and this photo demonstrates that it’s possible to help people and get started on a threeway . . . Which I find strangely encouraging.

Tony Botello
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10 Responses to Tony: A Quick Look Back at KC Mag’s Sexy Singles Questionable Kansas City Hookups

  1. Anonymous says:

    tony…next year we’ll make you the
    sexy single. The charity will be lucky to
    get $1.95 auctioning you off.
    Also…tony..these are not the sexiest singles
    in this town. Let me take you to Sullivans on
    thursdays…Ra in o.p. on a friday afternoon…
    the cigar box on saturday nite…or anywhere
    that the real hotties hang out…and you’ll
    see the real stuff.

  2. Anonymous says:

    the birdman
    I hear that “chubby dork” is socially awkward.

  3. Anonymous says:

    rob lane
    No Glazer, No Barbie, No Way.

  4. Anonymous says:

    mark smith
    I think JoJo just asked Tony out on a date. Better bring pepper spray and your rape whistle T.

  5. Anonymous says:

    this post is a waste of server space just like KC Magazine is a complete waste of paper.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Johnny P
    I bet there isn’t a shred of personality in any of these rather ordinary looking people. LOL @ KC singles IMO. Stop writing articles about ordinary shit guys. C’mon.

  7. Anonymous says:

    elastsic weiner
    Attended this dog and pony show – Ms. Starr was the only thing that made me want to take it out and play with it. She is f*ckin hot and even has personality. Damn. More posts of her please.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Agree, elastic, Starr is a class act but the whole idea is insulting and ridiculous, excluding the good cause for the kids. If this is the best KC can do, they need to hand out free contraceptives at the event –just in case. Nice legs, Starr.

  9. Anonymous says:

    the birdman

    “excluding the good cause for the kids”

    so…what’s your point again?

  10. Anonymous says:

    Kelley Blond
    Spell my name right

Comments are closed.