Tony: A Quick Look Back at KC Mag’s Sexy Singles Questionable Kansas City Hookups

Let’s remember that just a few weeks ago I wished a curable STD on Kansas City’s Sexiest Singles.

The post got a good laugh and to try and prove they have a good sense of humor . . . Editors for the site invited me to take a look at a photo gallery of the them on Facebook. In return for this gesture of kindness I’m going to mock them even further despite the fact that the event raised some loose change for Big Brothers Big Sisters.

And yes, I’m aware that there’s a bit of irony involved in a homebody like myself ripping on the likes of Shanna Hilt (and her shiny forehead featured above) However . . . While these ambitious and charitable beautiful people dominate the real world, the Internet is the only place where d-bags like myself can cut them down to size.

Let’s get started.

Heidi Inthavong is pictured pointing to something in the crowd like some kind of jerk at a sports bar. She’s a fitness trainer so I can only assume that she spotted something shiny or she’s mercilessly mocking a fattie.

Again, Kudos to Big Brothers Big Sisters for being a big part of this event. Not only are they helping the children by lending their name to a huge, expensive gala, they also pimped out one of their own workers. I think Tiffany Bruce is kinda hot smiling next to Howdy Doody.

To me, this photo sums up the Kansas City dating scene . . . It features most of the sexy single ladies and a chubby dork hugging them. I call it, “This guy makes more money than you.”

I’m actually not going to joke about this next pic. Kelly Blonde of Lady Luck Hair Parlour is seen here smiling next to her crew. I’ve heard she’s pretty cool, I’m also a bit scared of her tattooed friend and because she works for a living and I think she’s kinda hot for a lady bold enough to wear Mr. Peepers glasses; she gets a pass.

Now this is classy and demonstrates the proper spirit of the event: KC Mag features an upskirt photo of Holly Starr. Remember this is for the charity and it looks like Holly doesn’t know what’s going on . . . Actually, on this I have to give them credit for their restraint. Had I been in this position I would have either had a heart attack or later been arrested for God knows what.

The finale of this photo set includes my favorite photo. I call it “Middle-aged White Woman Fantasy Double Team.

The photo features event dude and local producer Phil Kinen and landscape guy Kristopher Dabner doubling up on KC Mag’s Katie Van Luchene. Obviously, the spirit of charity was in the air on this wonderful night and I’m sure the first and foremost thing on the minds of these people is whatever Kansas City Charity that benefited. Still, it looks like Katie is enjoying herself and this photo demonstrates that it’s possible to help people and get started on a threeway . . . Which I find strangely encouraging.

Tony Botello