Tony: Top Five 2009 Stories About Kansas City People Better, Richer & More Important Than You

D-bags who complain about wanting more local coverage and higher quality in journalism are the same kind of people who would like to imagine that they never fart or eat fast food.

Given the things people say they want in public and what they consume in the privacy of their homes are almost always completely different, I’ve come up with the only accurate list of this year’s most influential stories.

As always, these items don’t have anything to do with journalism or the public interest but are merely this town practicing minor celebrity reporting. Again, if people were serious about demanding quality journalism than TMZ wouldn’t be infinitely more popular and profitable than The Economist.

So, let’s quickly list this year’s most influential and frivolous Kansas City stories that shaped this cowtown’s culture .

Of course, Co-Mayor Gloria Squitiro once again dominates the world of salacious Kansas City news that doesn’t really impact people’s lives one way or another.

1. There was a great deal of fighting regarding the Sunnyside Dog Park special interest group. In the end, they didn’t get their way but the elitist goals of these white women who prized their puppies over people clued us in to the moral abyss that so many political denizens operate under. Middle-class people care more about their dogs than people dying in this town or anywhere else . . . And that’s why I really don’t believe anyone when they tout their civic involvement.

2. The ongoing P&L District Dress Code fighting was a constant source of hurt feelings, journalistic minefields and good old fashioned racial drama.

3. This is the year that Kansas City Political Consultant Kim Carlos conquered this cowtown. She was always behind the scenes, working without name recognition but her alliance with City Council Lady Cindy Circo proved extremely beneficial in putting her within the ranks of other top KC political guys like Pat O’Neil, Pat Gray and Jeff Roe.

4. There’s no topping Holly Starr news. She splits her time between here and Las Vegas but Kansas City wants to know who she’s dating, what she’s wearing and where she’s going to be . . . As long as she doesn’t throw it all away on some dork for the sake of love and marriage. Look for KC’s love affair with this local personality to continue despite the fact that the average d-bag on the street doesn’t have a chance with her.

5. The Habitual Losing Ways of The Royals/Chiefs hurt Kansas City. In the grand scheme of things pro sports doesn’t matter. However, consider that Kansas City is committed to a ONE BILLION DOLLAR investment to these losers and their failure is obviously demoralizing this town. Billionaire owners and Millionaire athletes don’t have much in common with people on local streets but their exploits seem to define Kansas City’s character.

So, rather than look to ourselves, our communities or our families for inspiration or advice these “Kansas City Stars” have fooled us into thinking that they’re important because they’re pushed on by mainstream media and a newspaper in its last days. Still, there’s always a chance that the New Year will bring more realistic sentiments to the voting and media watching public; but it’s not likely.

Tony Botello
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3 Responses to Tony: Top Five 2009 Stories About Kansas City People Better, Richer & More Important Than You

  1. Anonymous says:

    Wow, I thought the biggest story of 2009 was going to be SOMETIME LATER THIS YEAR THE STAR WILL STOP PUBLISHING AS MANY AS THREE OF THEIR DAILY EDITIONS!!! Well that’s what you said in January, anyway.

    So now, a year later, The Star’s “last days” are instead far from being close (it’s very Altevogian of you however), and you’re no closer to the truth about it than you were a year ago.

  2. Anonymous says:

    rob lane
    Holly Glazers at the Hyatt Party tonight, cut him off at the pass….and shoot black barbie

  3. Anonymous says:

    Dude, you’ve been reading Tony for a year? Loser.

    Maybe he was talking about a year from the date of that blog? It just proves you’ve been following Tony for a long time.

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