Hearne on the Street: I So Got Forked

Atop the slag heap of junior high rituals rests the esteemed art of forking

Never been there, never done that? Not a problem.

The Urban Dictionary describes forking as “sticking forks into someone’s yard

– usually forms words or pictures

-yard grafitti
-can be used to laugh at a friend or to piss off an enemy

– We were bored last night, so we forked my ex-boyfriend “

What UD left out was it’s generally done with the plastic forks they sell at grocery stores. In some circles it replaced the time tested (albeit messier) practice of tee-peeing or launching toilet paper roll streamers into trees.

Being somewhat removed from high school – let alone junior high – I was somewhat surprised to awaken Sunday morning to the artful display of plastic forks that lined my front yard and spelled out my initials.

Hey, I got forked – who knew?

I literally have no idea who dunnit. Thought about Will Gregory but, nah, he’s too cheap. These were some really nice plastic forks – cutlery quality if you will.

Could it be the start of some new chapter in my life? Can’t wait for prom season.

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4 Responses to Hearne on the Street: I So Got Forked

  1. Anonymous says:

    Think of it as art.

  2. Anonymous says:

    splitspoon = fork

  3. Anonymous says:

    Could be worse. You coulda got sporked or knifed. Could be a message job? Put a fork in him….he’s done? Maybe Mike and Roxy got that first royalty check from the Gardening Book. Could be a new way to core aerate? Maybe the perps wanted to spell HO and ran out of forks. Did the coppers look for footprints? Was Tony Botello invited over for lunch?

  4. Anonymous says:

    Please clean it up already. Tired of looking at your yard art on the way to the park.

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