I’ve also heard he banged Holly Starr. Which probably means he shook her hand at some point.
I also hope to shake her hand too.
In any event, Johnny Dare has legions of fans who are intensely dedicated to his work and some of them, like the broad in the photo adorning this post, have awesome cans.
Nevertheless, as the the Kansas City Godfather of Hard Rock tries to take his game to the Internets, he is the only local celebrity to experience a rather common Facebook problem. He has so many fans that he has reached capacity and had to start two accounts. I’d like to take a quick moment to do my best in explaining how this situation came to pass.
Through a link on local blog Patchchord I was able to garner a bit of insight into Dare’s problems; other than the fact that it doesn’t look like he’s going to escape this small media market, and might be the big fish in the little pond for the rest of his career.
First, let’s examine the problem.
Again, Dare has so many fans that he has to have two Facebook accounts.
There’s the original Johnny Dare fb page.
It’s basically an Internet problem of scalability according to somebody much smarter than me. Here’s how they explain the sitch,
“Let’s say you have 200 friends. When you hit your Facebook account it has to go gather the status of all 200 of your friends at the same time so you can see what’s new for them. That means 200 requests need to go out simultaneously, the replies need to be merged together, other services need to be contacted to get more details, and all this needs to be munged together and sent through PHP and a web server so that you see your Facebook page in a reasonable amount of time.
Facebook takes a Pull on Demand approach. To recreate a page or a display fragment they run the complete query. To find out if one of your friends has added a new favorite band Facebook actually queries all your friends to find what’s new. They can get away with this because of their awesome infrastructure.
But if you’ve ever wondered why Facebook has a 5,000 user limit on the number of friends, this is why. At a certain point it’s hard to make Pull on Demand scale.”
And while “Pull and Demand” sounds like the hobbies of most of Dare’s dumbass fans who listen to garbage like System of a Down, it’s actually quite interesting that Dare’s audience can’t fit onto Facebook for the moment, and it looks as if his old media gig is safe. For now.