Tony: A Techy Note For Johnny Dare’s Dumbass Fans Following Him On Facebook

Johnny Dare seems to have it all. The DJ for 98.9 The Rock has consistently been the most highly rated radio personality in Kansas City for years at a time.

I’ve also heard he banged Holly Starr. Which probably means he shook her hand at some point.

I also hope to shake her hand too.

In any event, Johnny Dare has legions of fans who are intensely dedicated to his work and some of them, like the broad in the photo adorning this post, have awesome cans.

Nevertheless, as the the Kansas City Godfather of Hard Rock tries to take his game to the Internets, he is the only local celebrity to experience a rather common Facebook problem. He has so many fans that he has reached capacity and had to start two accounts. I’d like to take a quick moment to do my best in explaining how this situation came to pass.

Through a link on local blog Patchchord I was able to garner a bit of insight into Dare’s problems; other than the fact that it doesn’t look like he’s going to escape this small media market, and might be the big fish in the little pond for the rest of his career.

First, let’s examine the problem.

Again, Dare has so many fans that he has to have two Facebook accounts.

There’s the original Johnny Dare fb page.

And then there’s Johnny Dare II.

It’s basically an Internet problem of scalability according to somebody much smarter than me. Here’s how they explain the sitch,

“Let’s say you have 200 friends. When you hit your Facebook account it has to go gather the status of all 200 of your friends at the same time so you can see what’s new for them. That means 200 requests need to go out simultaneously, the replies need to be merged together, other services need to be contacted to get more details, and all this needs to be munged together and sent through PHP and a web server so that you see your Facebook page in a reasonable amount of time.

Facebook takes a Pull on Demand approach. To recreate a page or a display fragment they run the complete query. To find out if one of your friends has added a new favorite band Facebook actually queries all your friends to find what’s new. They can get away with this because of their awesome infrastructure.

But if you’ve ever wondered why Facebook has a 5,000 user limit on the number of friends, this is why. At a certain point it’s hard to make Pull on Demand scale.”

And while “Pull and Demand” sounds like the hobbies of most of Dare’s dumbass fans who listen to garbage like System of a Down, it’s actually quite interesting that Dare’s audience can’t fit onto Facebook for the moment, and it looks as if his old media gig is safe. For now.

Tony Botello
This entry was posted in Tony_Botello and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Tony: A Techy Note For Johnny Dare’s Dumbass Fans Following Him On Facebook

  1. Anonymous says:

    Johnny Dares immense popularity is proof that public education does not work.

  2. Anonymous says:

    who is jony dare?

  3. Anonymous says:

    Orphan of the Road
    Isn’t he Gail Worth’s bitch? Or is that Slacker?

  4. Anonymous says:

    Jayhawk Tony
    It sounds like Tony Buttholio has an immense jealousy problem. This “blog post” of his proves nothing more.

    And there is nothing at all wrong with being a “big fish in a little pond.” And if Dare has banged Holly Starr, more props to him. Much better Holly than the skanks on Tony B. tries to hit on from the Westside.

  5. Anonymous says:

    “Johnny Dares immense popularity is proof that public education does not work.”


  6. Anonymous says:

    Trey Hillman
    I would much rather shake Holly Star’s hand than Darla J’s penis.

  7. Anonymous says:

    midtown miscreant
    Nice dairy cannons.

  8. Anonymous says:

    craig glazer
    As a guy that works with Dare each week, I can tell you a couple things he has several facebook setups(websites)with almost 20,000 fans, one alone is a universal one that holds l0,000…and he’s starting a new one…remember he draws 52,000 to Rock Fest, the biggest outdoor concert of the summer in the US(one day event not in a stadium)…so you gotta give the guy credit…he has a huge fan base…huge….

    Also sadly he has not dated Holly Star….at least not yet, he is pretty private about his love life, but those two have not gone out…I have encouraged him to do so, but so far, they are just pals….

  9. Anonymous says:

    Dino Martini
    As usual Glazer…it’s all about you. STFU!!

  10. Anonymous says:

    Collective Noses
    I see accuracy isn’t improving over time. Usually repetition leads to improvement unfortunately in your case I’m still laughing at you. I’m at a loss for words really…utter nonsense

  11. Anonymous says:

    I think people go to Rockfest to see THE BANDS!

    If you can’t read Tony with some tongue in cheek irony you miss the whole point. For your sake Tony I hope it’s your tongue in Holly Star’s butt-cheek. LA BAMBA!

  12. Anonymous says:

    Johnny Dare = smart
    Johnny Dare’s fans = MORANS

Comments are closed.