Tony: Kansas City Is Responsible For David Cook’s Mediocrity

Do you know the worst thing about Kansas City?

I guess it could be the institutional racism, an overall atmosphere of mediocrity or maybe even the pervasive middle-class sense of entitlement that seems to permeate every topic in the local discourse.

But I’m pretty sure that David Cook is what’s worst about Kansas City. Or at the very least his D-list celebrity status that symbolizes all of this cowtown’s failings with a throaty, retrofitted REO Speedwagon-esque muzak serving as our soundtrack. No offense directed at REO Speedwagon, who actually had a couple of decent albums.

This isn’t just opinion. I have facts to back up my claims.

Fact 1. David Cook packs them in whenever he’s near Kalamazoo. Allow me to direct readers to David Cook’s whirlwind tour that’s just blew through Allegan County Fairgrounds near Kalamazoo, Michigan. That’s pretty much the kind of gig that the former American Idol has been relegated to, I mean, he can only play the P&L District in Downtown KC every other week and must venture out into the real world sometime if he’s gong to at least pretend to have a music career. And outside of KC the most common question that follows David Cook around is, “David, who?”

Fact 2. Recording for David Cook’s new release has been pushed back and more dates have been added to his aforementioned “World Tour” that finishes up in the exotic and faraway city of Elizabeth, Indiana. To the uninitiated this might seem like a bit of demand for the artist, but what it really represents is that his handlers are trying to squeeze every bit of minor league celebrity out of him before it completely wears out.

In the end, David Cook came really close to becoming a notable talent but will probably never make it. I blame Kansas City. This town elevated him beyond his level of skill and that destroyed his development as an artist. Blue Springs wanted a star so very badly – I can’t blame them because I don’t even like driving through that place. So they started a movement to get the entire region to encourage a singer who doesn’t really have much to say, and has a style crafted for the lowest common denominator on prime time television. Elevating his mediocrity to a finicky commercial audience did him a disservice.

He’s worse than a one hit wonder (especially since his album sold nicely by capitalizing on his recent fame but didn’t really set the world on fire). He’s something more akin to the TV created 60’s band The Monkees. They were recently touring too, and I’m sure their fans are just as devoted as Cook’s. They also had far more #1 singles. The problem is, The Monkees, just like David Cook, suck.
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12 Responses to Tony: Kansas City Is Responsible For David Cook’s Mediocrity

  1. Anonymous says:

    Pulitzer time! Can’t wait for the posts from the fat chicks and douchebagettes that think DC is Leonard Cohen.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Listen, Cook is no Springsteen but he can’t possibly be that bad.

  3. Anonymous says:

    You, sir, are a moron. What are you expert credentials again? Winning American Idol does equal instant musical success. It takes a few years to establish your identity and distance yourself from the Idol image tv has created. Give him time for gods sake.

  4. Anonymous says:

    craig glazer
    Tony The Monkees don’t suck, say it ain’t so…I hate to admitt it but last month at Nebraska Furniture Mart I bought about 20 oldies cd’s, Roy Orbison, Cher, etc…and YES The Monkees, come on “Last Train to Clarksville” “Steppin Stone” and “Daydream Believer”…she’s a homecomin queen….just listening brought a tear to my eye…cause I thought about this hot blonde that was sitting next to me in math class that year at Medow Brook Jr. High and how….I wanted…well I guess its the fond memories, huh..

  5. Anonymous says:

    Very few AI winners have long term success. AI is not desinged to build a career, it’s designed to make lots of money in a short period of time. Most of that dough does not go to the artist. By the time the next season is over David Cook will be further distanced from the spotlight he craves but certainly does not deserve.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Tony, only to narrow-minded fools like yourself is David Cook more musically representative of Kansas City than the likes of Charlie Parker, Count Basie and Lester Young. Maybe if you actually took the time to venture away from your keyboard down to say, the 18th & Vine area, you might actually learn something about this city’s great musical heritage but I guess it’s more fun to tear down a local boy who has earned some success doing something he loves and at least has displayed some talent for.

    Kudos to you, sir for fueling your burgeoning blogging career with your (generally) negative KC-centric takes. Kudos.

  7. Anonymous says:

    midtown miscreant
    Come on, A I is a springboard to major musical success. Just look at all the great talent, Rubin whatshisname, that Clay teh ghey guy, Taylor Hicks. Okay, maybe those aren’t the best examples.
    Next I suppose you’ll say the Archies werent a real cartoon band.

  8. Anonymous says:

    David Cook sucks. And he’s still better at his “job” than Tony is at his “job”.

  9. Anonymous says:


  10. Anonymous says:

    You are the weirdest person I’ve ever seen on a blog. You’re dragging all the other down — this ain’t gonna last long.

    Your race card deck is running low on cards. Time to move onto something else — I hear McDonalds is hiring.

  11. Anonymous says:

    Tony u should move to the east coast where you snobbery towards the midwest will be more in tune with fellow believers. I’ll continue to eat meat loaf as you enjoy your quiche and tell people what a great musician Bob Dylan is.

  12. Anonymous says:

    kevin lager
    who is this douche tony again? If KC is so bad I will pitch in for a plane ticket to some much cooler spot.

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