There are certain recurring themes that define Kansas City other than the fact that KC Mayor Mark Funkhouser and his co-mayor wife are still running this town into the ground from their Brookside residence. For this post I’d like to present a bit of a retrospective on the cultural logics that are currently informing our stereotypes regarding River City.
Check out the following trends I’m poaching from newsies too lazy to come up with anything new (for me to steal reference) . . .
- Clay Chastain reporting is always guaranteed to generate at least some interest when this town shudders at the prospect of our future in light of our failed history of civic improvement thus far.
- WDAF watches too many Seinfeld reruns and drops the term “Buck Naked Burglar” into a bit of their wacky continual newscasts. These folks pride themselves on being the most “un-Fox” Fox News affiliate, and there’s probably some merit to that because they don’t seem to take themselves as seriously as the other stations . . . Or it could simply be exhaustion, given the fact the station seems to feature nothing but exhausted looking newsies. Also, there’s word that staff is a bit upset that there is almost no minority representation among their anchors and that’s kind of a cool sentiment that most local news people don’t even bother to voice . . . even off the record.
- I hear the limit is about 4k in friends on Facebook, I don’t know how this is news but TV internet reporting makes me smile if only because they always overstate or completely discount the importance of online trends. For the record, if it doesn’t include lolcats then it’s not important.
- I didn’t know NASCAR fans had any real money and a triple car robbery at Kansas Speedway; with one theft including $4,500 in cash breaks those stereotypes for me. Credit New, Indie, Kansas City Kansan Publisher Nick Sloan for the alternative perspective that provides yet another reason why soccer, gambling and Cerner all have their backs turned on KC Proper.
There are more than two million other stories in this cowtown that are headed the way of Detroit. I just don’t have the will to look them up and would rather hunt for Adriana Lima photos. And I’d rather joke local newsies scurrying to get the next, tired David Cook interview.