I’m busier than I thought I would be today so all of the d-bags reading Hearne’s site will only be able to enjoy a quarter of the half-assed effort I put into my posts on this blog. Then again, so many metro MILFs and younger hotties resembling pop singer and professional dunce Jessica Simpson would be much better off with only a quarter of the ass they currently maintain.
So, closely watching the news between video gaming sessions I’ve noticed 5 trends related to local ignorance that deserve just a bit more attention.
1. Lew Perkins doesn’t know anything about the Internet. In what could be most uncomfortable interview conducted in Kansas since Bob Dole once worked as a pitchman for Viagra penis pills, Perkins displayed a stunning amount of ignorance about technology, the lifestyle of a sizable portion of students at The University of Kansas and basic Public Relations strategies. Put simply, Perkins blamed the Internet, Facebook and hip-hop for every problem in Lawrence, as if he was a housewife visiting the Oprah set.
2. The Star is smacked in the face by the Washington Post for their ignorance of all subjects related to State-Wide Missouri politics.The best State-based Political Reporters according to the Wash Po are St. Louis Post-Dispatch’s Tony Messenger, Springfield News-Leader’s Chad Livengood, KY3′s David Catanese, St. Louis Beacon’s Jo Mannies. Representatives from Kansas City’s “paper of record” are nowhere to be found and maybe it’s because they’re too busy biting their fingernails about losing their jobs in order to make a few calls to Jeff City.
3. Obviously The Chiefs don’t know how to win, but what’s more interesting is how this town might have forgotten how horribly debilitating a quarterback controversy can be for a pro-football team. The Chiefs haven’t had a decent quarterback since Joe Montana decided to collect a few more paychecks in this cowtown and current QB Matt Cassel doesn’t look to be an exception to this rule. The only silver-lining to the Chiefs perennially losing situation is that this season looks to be such a disappointment that there just might be a chance to draft a decent quarterback at season’s end.
4. Kansas City didn’t know or care about the Islanders or NHL Hockey coming to town. This is actually a great thing because it shows this town is learning that it doesn’t pay to play the “lady in waiting” and pro-sports teams mostly want to merely use KC for leverage.
5. Kansas City must not know about or check cholesterol. I’ve always thought the local “BBQ Capital of the World” title was stupid and undeserved but the recent cross-marketing effort with Bacon Fest was even more over the top. It’s not that I’m opposed to self-destructive attitudes in the popular culture, but digging a grave with a knife and fork is just about the most boring way to go.
So, now that we’re up to speed I hope that this cowtown can harness our collective ignorance and move forward together. Like so many Obama supporters who don’t understand free market economics, rather than languishing in fear of the unknown and BBQ sausages like the Tea Party Conservatives and the other remnants of the Bush legacy.