Tony Hates This Town: Poolside Supremacy At The Jones For A Good Cause!!!

I don’t mind admitting that I’m somewhat disappointed that during this summer more allegations of racism and discrimination never materialized at the P&L District related to their swimming pool stupidly named “The Jones.” There are many factors related to the relatively quiet swimming season but it was probably the cold weather that kept people from every demographic away. It really takes a nice heatwave to spark the intense fighting over Kansas City’s racial divisions.

Still, credit the savvy target marketing from this upscale (read: tacitly racist and explicitly elitist) Downtown Destination for avoiding a fight this summer. Check out their latest press release for a benefit tonight:

“This is really shaping up to be an awesome Friday night! The weather will be perfect, the crowd will be one sweet collection of KCs beautiful peeps, the cocktails will be flowing, the beats poppin and everyone singing “I’m on a roof! T 7 Kickoff/Jonesing For Halloween/End of Summer Bash or whatever you want to call it (and Twilight) it’s all in the name of major fun for two good causes. Dress is stylish casual (save the costumes for Halloween’s T 7) but clowning is always appreciated at Bacchus soirees. We hear patrons are coming to play hard so be ready. Ticket prices go up at the door so get on the train trick. On behalf of The Ronald McDonald House and Child Protection Center, thanks to all of you who support our events. CHEERS!”

I don’t know what cheerleader wrote the tripe I’ve quoted but it’s so horrible it makes me feel a lot less guilty about ignoring Amber alerts and not just because they’re mostly an exercise in small market media and local government Missing White Woman Syndrome.

Furthermore, this is a horrible way to promote a pool party that should always be sold on hotties.

In at attempt to be forthright I should note that I have absolutely no desire to go swimming with middle-class white people and that’s not just because I’m horribly ethnic and I have back hair. However, I’m just curious at the target marketing that’s being used to keep this place so effectively segregated. The simple answer might be that $35 to smile at people and earn some self-esteem through widely publicized charity work is something that only Kansas City’s petty bourgeois could afford.

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13 Responses to Tony Hates This Town: Poolside Supremacy At The Jones For A Good Cause!!!

  1. Anonymous says:

    Too classy for Tony? More likely.

  2. Anonymous says:

    All the douchebag Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag clones will be there. Where are the vampires when you need ’em? .

  3. Anonymous says:

    midtown miscreant
    Wait until it gets cooler, arrive to the Jones shirtless. Muffin and Biff will think you are wearing some kind of trendy argyle sweater.

  4. Anonymous says:

    craig glazer
    Tony you got it right, I was at three events this summer at The Jones…only one was well atteneded it involved the Sports Commission and hosted by Jimmy Walker, that had about 200 folks for an hour or so…but after the opening, the crowds usually were small if at all…during the day and at most of the evening events….

    First of all its confusing almost nobody knows when its open and to whom for what and when…weekend nights seem to be for private parties…I guess….so like I said from what I saw and have heard, most of the events were small in attendance if at all….including a Chiefs event I went to which was totally an Urban crowd….maybe they will figure it out next year, give out free passes to all the strippers who work you have some cute girls at pool…

    The place is pretty nice though, good lookin bar and chairs are cool, pool is for looks but ok, view is not bad either…could be cool hangout…but just the idea of going downtown to get undressed in an urban atmosphere doesn’t work well…

    So my strong guess is yet another KC failure…like the Zoo,l8th and Vine,Rivermarket,and you can add in SPRINT AND DOWNTOWN…a better efffort but too little, too late…

  5. Anonymous says:

    Agreed BUT not so much
    I agree, why anyone go downtown to swim? Why pay $35.00 for the pleasure, when there are plenty of JoCo apartment pools to crash?, and PLENTY of young hotties there too …. and it is more fun to crash a pool.

    To quote the guy from “Big”, “I dont get it”.

    I also dont get all the forced racial divide delight this author seems to delight in. wtf? Arent we all one?, that is what people like to say anyway ( you know POTUS, and all ), but as long as there are articles forcing everyone to say NO WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT, then you all will be.


  6. Anonymous says:

    Trey Hillman
    It is a FUNDRAISER for the Ronald McDonald House you F’ing Douchebags!

  7. Anonymous says:

    Give out free passes to the strippers?! What planet are you living on Craig? That’s not exactly the image I think the promoters of The Jones is striving for. Just because you’re dating one doesn’t mean the rest of the city or really anyone for that matter wants to date them or mingle with them. If the guys want that they can go get a lapdance from your girlfriend and the rest of the strippers on Grand.

  8. Anonymous says:


  9. Anonymous says:

    Rainbow Man
    Pool clubs are as trendy as a Raytown country bar. 2.5 Years Max.

  10. Anonymous says:

    talked with brian the manager and Jones had
    a huge summer. Some days they did $20,000
    in booze. And it was packed
    Glazier: wrong again. The initial season was
    huge and they didn’t need hookers and
    Tony: you are a piece of shit. How did your
    articles get on here. Saying you hoped that there
    would be more racial allegations about the
    power and light…what the f*ck…are you some
    kind of idiot. Hoping for a heat wave so there
    could be more controversy. I’m sure that the
    bouncers at the pool could smell you coming you
    are one big piece of crap.

  11. Anonymous says:

    I”m if you have greasy dirty hair and don’t bath — everyone would be happy if you stayed away.

    You, sir, are one of the most racist people I’ve seen on the Internet. I’ve stayed away from the site more since you were added.

    Does it always have to be about race?

  12. Anonymous says:

    the last word
    I thoughtMermaid was friends with Glazer? She use to stick up for him when he got slammed. Ahh……the scorn of a jealous woman.

    Many companies will hire models, strippers, college cuties, to attend events to give it a more “Hot thing to do” feel. Great idea Craig.

    Obviously Mermaid you would not be included in that group….ZING

  13. Anonymous says:

    Juris Doctor
    If the girl featured here is one who attends regulary, I do not feel as though I am missing out. Her breasts need to revisit her surgeon for one. The thought of socializing with a mix of half nude steriod using, intoxicated elastsic weiners and women with eating disorders,inflatable lips and breasts and dreams of becoming America’s next top model does not interest me. Sick. I agree with Tony on this one and I have plennnnnnty of class. Besides, anyone who does have class would not go there.

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