Hearne on the Street: My Final Four

IDo I look like the kinda guy that would glorify pot, lesbianism, junk food and gluttony? I ask you, do I look like the kinda guy that would glorify pot, lesbianism, junk food and gluttony?

In honor of this year’s Final Four – I know, I know, I’m not allowed to write, say or even think those words – I offer up this letter to the editor that ran in the Kansas City Star three years ago.

Why hit it again now?

I dunno, how about to give boring, over-the-hill South Leawood blogger types and beastly, basement dwelling Internet Narcissists something to shoot at?

Truth is though, I stumbled onto it sorting stuff to put in storage and I had to share.

BTW a shout out to Rob Johns (then) of Overland Park who had the pleasure of taking me to the woodshed.

“Not for children,” reads the headline.

“Congratulations, Hearne Christopher!” it begins.”You managed to glamorize pot-smoking, lesbians, junk food and gluttony all in one tidbit. Normally I would have skipped over that section (FYI?), but 4/20 caught my eye since it was on that day last year that my dad died.”

Nice. Bag on the lowly columnist, then toss in some sentiment.

There’s more…

“The sophomoric sensationalism which might have been more appropriate in an alternative-type paper, compels me to deny my kids the privilege of reading the FYI section, just as the sexual impotence ads have limited their freedom in the Sports Daily section. I may just have to switch to another paper.”

Hope RJ didn’t banish the kiddies to the Worldwide Web while denying them privileges and limiting their freedom. Cuz they might – just might – stumble onto that dastardly dude at KC

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